Got a man, call him my boyfriend, think I’ve fallen in love
The only man that gives me the things that I am worthy of
Hugs me and holds me, kisses me softly, calls me back right away
He communicates his feelings to me and cares what I have to say
He says “Baby, I love you, baby, I need you. Never gonna let you go”

Writes me love notes, takes me shopping and to Broadway shows
Talk to him like he is a girlfriend, slumber party every night
I’ve never felt so happy before, he’s almost Mr. Right
But I think he’s hot and I think he’s sweet
And I think he’s gay and I think he’s neat
Okay, okay, so my boyfriend’s gay
But what does it matter anyway?
He hasn’t come out of the closet yet
‘Til then, I’ll take all that I can get

If he doesn’t think I know
But I know, I know, I’ve always known
If he doesn’t think it shows
But it shows, for sure, it’s always shown
You might think it’s a little sad
But he’s the best lover that I’ve ever had

At night, when we’re lying in bed
He’s not hard, it’s okay, ’cause he gives me head
Like my mom always says
“It takes more than a pound to be good in bed”
You don’t know the meaning of “rock your world”
‘Til you’ve been with a guy who thinks like a girl

He lies and says he’s on meds, that’s why he’s never stiff
When I ask if he’s not into me, he always says, “As if!”
But the way he makes up for his shortcomings just could not be finer
‘Cause my new best friend is his tongue and his is my vagina
He reappears from under the covers, looking like he’s been to war
Breaks a sweat, catches his breath, and comes down back for more
After that, he’s never tired, he just want to talk
And cuddles me until I sleep, then takes his dog for a walk

Someday he’ll come out and I’ll be happy for him when he does
And I know I’ll be sad and thinking of what was
Someday this fairytale will come to an end
‘Cause his fairy tail will find a like-minded friend

If he doesn’t think I know
But I know, I know, I’ve always known
If he doesn’t think it shows
But it shows, for sure, it’s always shown
You don’t need no penetration
When you got a good dose of overcompensation

At night, when we’re lying in bed
He’s not hard, it’s okay, ’cause he gives me head
Like my mom always says
“It takes more than a pound to be good in bed”
You don’t know the meaning of slot machine
‘Til you’ve been with a king who thinks like a queen

I know it’s not forever, but that’s okay
‘Cause I’m his girlfriend, and he’s my gay (cha cha cha)

No related posts.

So instead I’ll leave you with this photo of Paul Anka being interesting and shaking paws.

Related posts:

1. What to do when you’re boring?
2. The day Dooce @replied me.
3. Trying something new.

Everyone step up and nominate their favourite personal blogs.

List so far:

Brandi @ thebrandishow.com
Britney @ enchanted21.wordpress.com
Dan @ sobitchin.org
Monnie @ vanillasilence.com
James @ zombieskittles.com
Carolyn @ icnh.blogspot.com
Kinmun @ mrbrown.com
Mari @ supermaw.com

No related posts.

My first article is Teaching your dog to shake paws. Three simple steps, try it and let me know if it worked for you. I found it really easy, but I’m not sure if it was “smart” dog, or pure luck.

I was looking to try to be accepted with Demand Studios. Unfortunately they do not accept any one from outside USA, but I was told they are looking to extend to outside just the USA, which I really hope is true.

I am utterly disappointed at the moment of businesses who had not made something as easily universal as freelance writing globally available. I don’t know it was about Tax or something, but still very disappointing.  Also, since paid blogging is very focussed on American bloggers as well. Some love for the Aussie, please.

I must apologise for the lack of blog posts. I do have three or four in the works, all in my draft section. I promise they will be up soon, trying out a new opportunity, plus second lot of Uni assigments means I’ve been a bit slack.

No related posts.

When I was more loudly active online, I made so many friends. Many of them knew me better than my real life friends and family. I was more open with them, I could openly speak about how I felt when I couldn’t offline. Many of these friends continued being active, and I lost contact with them. A few of them, mainly the ones I always considered the closest still stay in contact with me. We might not talk as much as we did, but I know if I say hi in MSN they’ll be there to have a chat with me, about silly things or serious issues.

The thing that surprises me about that is it’s similar to my offline best friends, though I don’t always have constant contact with them, when we do, it’s like old times, it isn’t uncomfortable or weird, it’s just normal. The similarity between these old but true offline friends and the old but true online friends reminds me that online friends can really be “real” friends. I guess I got told as a kid there is a difference between online friends, and they can’t be considered real friends. As time goes on and the time I’ve had some of my online friends continues to grow I realise it isn’t so different for me. With online friends, I’m myself quickly, and I’m the real me. If they like that, they probably know me better than any offline friend I spend the same amount of time with as I don’t act myself around them.

The reason I started this post was in the recent contact I’ve had with some of my oldest online friends, back in my “Blue Heelers” days, I had many great friends, many of them have slowly disappeared as the show ended, as we changed directions in life and as we just grew apart. Twitter has rekindled some of those friendships (Rissy-Moo, aka Riss, the sweet Bree, and my beautiful Jackie)

And then, one of the people I consider one of my best friends, Vicky. After me bugging she joined Twitter and then bugged her to restart her blog. It’s great being able to read about her life even when we don’t talk.

Though my blog and Twitter I’ve made some new friends, none are at the standard I consider the above friends, but it’s slowly getting there. Like offline friends, online friends take time to build up too. I’ve know the girls I’ve mentioned for around five years, they’ve seen me finish year 12, enter uni, break up with boyfriends and gain new ones. They’ve helped shape who I am online and offline, and I consider them such true friends.

Does everyone else view their online friends with such high regard? Do you consider them as true as offline friends?

Related posts:

1. I got a little public.
2. Paid online marketing!
3. What to do when you’re boring?

I like my life is quiet and boring, but it doesn’t make for a great blog. Why do I write it then? I like it, it’s fun to write, and maintain the blog, as well I love watching the metrics and trying to get the most hits in a day. (My top day so far was 369 unique visits.) I also love it, because I’m actually being more truthful with myself, and with the boy. However, I am having trouble on deciding what I should write. Even though I spend most my time at work, and where the most lols happen, it’s a nono to talk about work online. I babble about my puppy enough, and I’m sure you don’t wanna know what I did site by site online every night.

For those bloggers who don’t have a ‘niche blog’ and it is a personal blog, what do you write about to keep it interesting? Do you go into the little things you did that day, and if you do, how do you make it fun reading? Or do you just have a busy, fun-packed life?
If not and you’re like me, where do you get your inspiration from?

And lastly, do you have any particular topics you’d like to see me tackle? I’d love the challenge and the ideas.

Related posts:

1. Not doing so well
2. making friends online
3. Thanks Dooce

A few weeks ago I mentioned my bad weeks. It seemed have faded for about a week. It seems to be back. I’m not even sure if it went away and is coming back, or if it just faded for a while I had a few good days and hasn’t gone away. I tend to either get sick and ignore everything and fail, or ignore life and do okay in university. How am I supposed to know which one is the way to go? This is all a bit too real for me right now, so I’m going to leave it there, and maybe right a bit more when it starts to make more sense to me.

I got a little distracted from Taciturnly, as I was trying to get my new site up and running. It is now! It is a review site! And awaiting some vivid readers with some outrageous (and normal) opinions.

Do I Keep It?

Josh Nunn just did a guest review for the site (and also came up with the name of the site)! Would love if any one else would like to do that as well! It’s nice to have a range of products from a range of people, especially as it’s just getting off the ground.

Related posts:

1. and the results..
2. Life got in the way.
3. I can’t last two days

Welcome to part two. A new site I’ve found. Odd. Scary. Chuckle worthy. Please don’t let my kids be like that.

12. This Is Why You’re Fat. .

Ah yes, this is why you’re fat. I love this photo because the dog is so tempted, and it looks so disgusting. The photos do get worse.

13. “The Blog of “Unnecessary” Quotations Marks” .

Pictures describes it all.

14. Texts From Last Night.

(217): How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???

I think you’re doing it wrong…

(314): So I went on a date with this girl…and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn’t tell me about to afford my bday present.

(323): You got in a fight last night?
(81: Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom…he was standing there and I notice he’s got the same shirt as me on so I’m like…dude you should have called me, we look like idiots…he didn’t say anything…so i got pissed and hit him…completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward…weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
(323): Um…Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

15. F*** My Life.

Today, I received my passport in the mail. They got my birthdate wrong. Then I picked up my birth certificate that I had sent in with the application. Turns out my parents have been celebrating my birthday on the wrong day for 16 years. FML

Today, my husband dropped me off at work, ten minutes later I got a text saying” I just dropped the b*tch off I’ll be there in a few baby, miss you”. I asked him about it he said he “I dont know what youre talking about Megan”. My name isnt Megan, not even close. FML

This site I end up reading every new entry to the boy. Why? Each one is more embarrassing, horrifying and horrendous than the last.

16. TruuConfessions.

My reasons for volunteering tomorrow: 25% do-goodery, 75% looking for a potential boyfriend.

So there is mom, bride, wife, single, office, body and military wives

I was so stupid to let my 12yr old daughter make cookies for someone who wanted me to make them for her. She swore up and down she would follow the directions. Guess what! She didnt. So now im stuck with having to buy all the ingredients my friend bought and needed with the last 10.00 I have that is suppose to last me for another freaking week!! She is usually great when it comes to stuff like this. What made her think she didnt have to read directions??

Something that simple? Got this kinda drama, go on hit comments you know you want to. So much fun. It used to be better, they redid it all and it got less drama filled and less angst. But still pretty good.

17. Apostrophe Abuse .

It’s kinda of like number 13, it’s quite similar. Just abuse of another grammar rule.

18. STFU, Parents.

Seriously, parents sometimes you need to STFU. This site is full of examples, mainly from FB. No I don’t want to hear about poopy diapers, or toilet training, or breast feeding. And no, I don’t appreciate being told I can’t be tired as you because I don’t have children.

19. Sexy People.

I love that most of these photos are sent in by the people in the photos. The thing I’ve only just noticed is that you can search by year, location, styling, hairdo, and backdrops!

20. Photo Cliches.

This site has eight catergories that every picture fits into, See No Evil, Statue Groping, Lynndie England, I’m King of the World, Jaws at Universal, False Phallus, Snorting Coca Cola, and Karate Kid Pose. And yes I’m sure most of you have done several of those poses!

Related posts:

1. Part one: ten “compiled” blogs.

1. Oh Crap. My Parents Joined Facebook.

“So, you finally caved. You’ve accepted a friend request from your Mom, Dad, crazy Aunt Ida, and your college roommate’s newly divorced mother. Well here’s your chance to get back at them for taking away your public privacy.” Basically a site full of screen caps of Facebook conversations between parents and childrens. Classic.

2. Post Secret

I’m sure a lot of people have crossed this site in their journey. It mixes snail mail with the anonymity of the Internet, and the global reach. People send their secrets on one side of a homemade postcard, to Frank Warren, and he selects the best. Every Sunday it is updated, and you can’t see the archived PSs, talk about making sure you visit a site every week! the site is just about to release its’ fifth book.

3. Parents Behaving Badly

39 year old Yolanda Guadalupe Perez of La Quinta, California was arrested in the scalding death of her daughter, 3-year-old Delilah Urrutia. Perez originally claimed that the girl knocked over a pot of boiling water on herself. However it was later determined that Perez never sought medical treatment for her daughter and sent her to her room for ‘misbehaving’

This site is not at all funny, it’s mortifying. It’s a site with stories like the above one, with parents who are behaving, well badly to the extreme.

4. CakeWrecks

Who knew looking at bad cakes would be so addicting? “A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate – you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it’s simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons.” They are mispelt words, fugly colors, creepy characters, sloppy cakes. I think my favourite thing is that the posts are themed, who knew so many cake decorators could screw up one thing!

5. Scanwiches

Pretty much a site of scanned sandwiches. It’s awesome.

6. Happiest People Ever!

“That’s what happens when photographers forget to tell people to say “cheeeeeeese”.” Grumpy kids, drunk emos, myspace angles and random people caught in the background.

7. Postcards From Yo Mama.

Mom: Hey, can you get me some more Marshall Tucker Band music off your Lemon Line?
Me: It’s called limewire, mom.
Mom: Whatever. I just know it’s citrusy and provides free music.
Me: Well, technically it’s not free, its illegal.
Mom: There you go again, ruining all my fun.

The embarrassing, lame, cringe worthy interactions between their mothers and kids. I’ve only just found this, it is definitely is getting me hooked.

8. Awkward Family Photos

Most of these photos are 80/90s photos, but just flipping awesome. Why would you ever pose like that?

9. Passive-Aggressive-Notes

“…some of the notes found here aren’t really passive-aggressive even by our generous standards. some of these notes are really more aggressive in tone, and some of them are more passive — polite, even — but they all share a common sense of frustration that’s been channeled into written form rather than a direct confrontation.” This is one of the first I started watching, it’s so very funny. However, I’m so sad I never see those kind of notes in real life.

10. Why The F*** Do You Have A Kid?

I’ve shared this on my twitter multiple times, it’s just too awesome to keep quiet. Granted most of this photos are of young parents, and I respect those who do a good job. However, the people on this site, take the cake.

Related posts:

1. Part two: ten “compiled” blogs.

I have stuck with photography, I have a lovely Nikon D40, which I do love. But I still don’t go out and take photos often enough. So I don’t improve very much.

I realise this often and get annoyed and want to learn something again. This time, I think I wanna attempt to learn some more photoshop. I know basics, which I actually learnt on Paint Shop Pro, back in the day. I’d really like to keep learning, two weeks of Uni to get back into it. If any one has any great links to sites/articles/helpful hints they could leave me, that would be pure love! Anything that have helped you learn, or taught you something you didn’t know? It’s very general, but I don’t know much, so anything is appreciated.

Related posts:

1. making friends online