I do actually still own this blog, really I do. I can’t blame my lack of updates on university, because I have actually been off uni for two weeks now, one more week holiday until it starts up again. Yet, I seem to lack things to update with. It may be because I keep a lot of things private… I tend not to write many private things here.
As I face the end of my Marketing degree (though it may be ending now in June 2011) I think about what I want to do with my degree. I have this worry that I will not be able to find a good job up against my other gradating peers. I have the possibility of staying where I am, as they seem to be giving me more marketing responsibility, but I seem to be having just as little time to complete them as I did have. I end up taking it home to work on, which seems a bit silly to me. As I’m not really moving my job description anywhere, just taking on work to complete at home.
My life seems full and busy of work, my boy, the little one and Paul Anka. However, I seem to have little to write about. Let’s see if I can come up with something.
The little one begun ballet at the beginning of the year. The photos below are from the end of term one. She’s now entering her third team of ballet this weekend.

I’m very proud of how far she’d come in her ballet in two terms. The first time we went to watch her, she was distracted by us, and even just staring at the other kids while they joined in. At the performance at the end of term two we went to, she nailed the entire routine they had. She was prompting the kids around her on what to do next, and she didn’t miss a move. She did really well, I can’t wait to see how well she does in the next two terms.

As I’ve started here, in my mind these books are timeless, perfect for 9-12 year olds (girls mainly) and hope I can collect them all for the little one, and any future children I may have. Currently, I am unaware of whether my mum has kept the LARGE collection I had, so until then I start afresh. Lets hope I can start bolding them to show I have collected them.

I remember rushing through second hand book stores trying to find the one I was missing, and now I’m just hoping that my mum can find that whole collection, or I will be trying to get my hand on any of them. (Preferably not the new ones they have released this year… )

continue reading

What a way to start my blog hey? I’ve already said SEX before the blog started. If that made you blush, maybe it’s best not to keep reading. (Or you know if you’re my sister/mum/soon-to-be MIL/co-worker, that also may mean you should stop reading.)

I grew up in a church, and I grew up with the notion that I would not have sex before marriage. It wasn’t something that was drilled into my head and I wasn’t convinced I’d be stuck down if I ever did have sex before marriage. However, all my friends were doing it (and by doing it I mean not doing it ), and somewhere around the age of 15 I decided that True Love Waits. During the next few years of my life, shit happened, and I ended up basically leaving my church (but I didn’t really leave my faith.) I don’t disagree with True Love Waits, I think if an informed individual makes that decision, good on them! That decision takes a lot of effort, and definitely some self control. That being said, I strongly disagree with abstinence only education, however, that is something for another post.
Somewhere between leaving the church completely and moving in with the boy I broke my True Love Waits pledge, and have I ever been disappointed or thought I made the wrong choice? Absolutely not. For me, sex before marriage has been the right choice.
And this is why:
Basically, by my mid-teens I hadn’t kissed any boys (omg prude alert!) but I was a damn good flirter. By my late teens, I fell for someone, flirted a lot, and then it all kind of fell apart, and ended with what some people would argue was a relationship where I was taken advantage of.

I came out of that… barely surviving, but still without breaking that pledge. I found a new boyfriend…. and then broke my pledge.

It was then I learnt some important truths: I Am Woman. And most importantly, if I am comfortable and aware of my wants, and needs, I Call The Shots.

Then a little further on I met my fiancé and I started liking myself a little more, and I realised that those important truths are a big part of me, I enjoy sex a lot and that it self is an important part of me. I am definitely a woman, and I love it. And I’m definitely aware of my wants and needs.

Something my pole dancing instructor said was from our chest to our thighs are what make the female kind different from males (well the most noticeable differences ), it’s where our core is. There are so many women and even men who shy away from that. I am a female and yes, I believe myself to be sexy. And well, that might not mean I’m hot or pretty, or have big boobs or a good figure, I’m still sexy and I believe it’s a very important part to being a female.

It horrifies me that if I hadn’t dated outside my religion, I would never have known that sex is important to me, that if I hadn’t broken that pledge I would still be basically afraid of that area that makes me a woman, and who knows where I’d be.

There is a moment in Sex and the City (the series) where the girls encourage each other to look at themselves in the mirror. How many women don’t do this? How afraid of ourselves are we? Or how much have we been convinced it is wrong, or not needed, or weird it is?

I really feel knowledge is important, is liberating, that it can protect us, it allows us to be in control, be happy and to decide what is right for us. I think a lot of that knowledge comes from being informed about sex and relationships, but mostly about being open about sex and relationships, about being “sex positive,”  whether that means being open within our sexual relationships, or between close friends, and even open with strangers (like I am doing at the moment).

I, however, feel the need to point out that I don’t condone young people having sex, and that isn’t what I mean by being informed, knowledge doesn’t have to come from having to actually have sex, but rather being able to talk about it, whether that is the partner, parents, a doctor, best friends, an internet forum full of same gender same aged people. Just to reaffirm that point, I was actually 18 when I first had sex, my whole point isn’t that everyone should go out and do it as soon as possible, but rather we should all be informed, and open about it.

I’d love to hear so opinions about this post, do you agree? Do you think talking about sex should be confined to bedrooms or maybe only between best friends? Do you think being aware of yourself and your own wants and needs leds to you being able to be in control? Are you honest and open about sex? If you agree with me, I’d love to see some people make their own blog posts about the issue, the internet allows us to be open and honest while still being guarded by the computer screen!

This post marks my attempt to be open, and informing, but also to try and gain more knowledge and learn more about myself and my body, and also to continue to accept and love myself!! I will continue to be open on future posts, and see what I learn about myself, and well humans in general.

Edited to add: I was asked to post somewhere people could ask me questions about this blog, follow the link to tumblr and ask away anonymously.

I have a post coming up explaining my reasons for my upcoming reviews which may cause a few raised eyebrows. As well as my new found “fitness class” pole dancing. I’m looking forward to writing it and hearing feedback.

If any of my lady readers gets the chance to do a pole dancing class, do it. You may think it’ll be embarrassing or too other the top, but it is amazing fitness and a whole lot of fun. My first lesson was one on one with my instructor, she was fun and bubbly and amazing on the pole. We started off with stretching and jumped straight into it. Literally, my first move was a jump onto the pole, legs out behind me and sliding down. I was surprised how much effort it took to just jump and just trust your arms to hold yourself up! I also learnt several spins, once again it was very hard just to trust yourself and do it. Once I did it, damn I was impressed. Within my hour lesson (which went way over an hour) I learnt a little bit of a routine. I’m definitely signing up for a course, especially once I saw how much I learnt I’d learn in the short course. However, as a small note, hitting the pole with your foot/ankle/arm/etc really hurts!

The reason I had the most fun was because every girl loves to be sexy, and this let you learn how to be  sexy. Three lessons in and I’ll have to wear high heels, and it’s something that needs you to show some skin!

I had three essays due within a week, I have finished those with the total amount of words written 5500! Now all that’s left for this semester at University is Exams. And then, one more semester and I’m done. Holy crap, I’m so looking forward to that.

I hope I can get back into the rhythm of blogging, I miss it when I don’t do it. I’ve been using tumblr quite a bit rather than blogging. It is very easy and quick, and it has such a sense of community that blogs can lack. Feel free to  follow me. http://radiostarelle.tumblr.com/

The only things that has really happened since I last blogged was the fact I can run 4km, and that I look forward to running…. I haven’t run since about year 6, so being able to run 4km, is like amazing for me.

The only other thing I’ve really done is re-fall in love with a cancelled Australian TV show, and realise how one of the actresses is still my favourite actress and that I love her and I can’t wait for the guest appearances she got coming up later this year! (Two TV shows and a small role in a movie, whoooot.)