I’ve been around online since I was about 9 (199
and on the Winnie the Pooh Bear Fan Clun (I was a lame child). From there, I hit Neopets and Habbo hotel. Since then, I’ve never really gotten offline. I had Yahoo IM before I ever used MSN, and was part of Yahoo Groups when they were big. From there, and seeing some websites of my favourite show, I somehow ended up on Lissa Explains It All. I learnt beginner HTML, and yes it taught me bad things, like coloured scroll bars and marquees, and yes, my first website has both those things.
My first website was a fansite for my favourite actress, Jane Allsop (go on, go google her). It was hosted on Geocities, and it was very very bad. It moved to being hosted on my friends domain, and then to its’ own domain. (@ janeallsop.com) I was very lucky to have some friends who actually knew what they were doing and taught me along the way.
The community for Jane Allsop (and Blue Heelers) wasn’t huge, but it was fantastic. I was known as being one of Jane’s biggest fans, it was fun. Jane Allsop and online served as my escape from real life at times. Sounds sad, but it’s true. I was much more open online, I made decisions and I didn’t hide behind a mask, which I did offline, and often still do.
During that time, I was active on a few message boards and blogged a lot. I’ve blogged on and off since 2004. I had a stage of getting about 30 comments per post, I’m not sure how? But it was fun. However, I have *nothing* of those days left. No backups, no sites lingering. The best I can do is look though Internet Archive and remember everything that happened.
I had a little side note on my blogs, that if you knew me in real life not to mention things I mentioned on my blog. I told the truth on my blogs and I hate confrontations so much, so most the things I wrote about, no one in real life knew. I was quite afraid someone would mention something to me, not a lot of people did, thankfully.
So I had a choice with this blog, either keep it a secret and have little or no readers, or share it with my twitter friends. My twitter has a few links with my “real life”, so the scared 15 year old reared its’ head, and I nearly didn’t share it.
@joshnunn posted the URL, and I took it as a sign. I’m not 15 years old anymore, I’m 20 now. I can be my real self, on and off line. I don’t hide behind the escape of Jane Allsop and Blue Heelers anymore, I don’t not say my opinion in fear of the response it gets. (Well, I try not to.)
I’m not afraid to say something revealing about myself online, and if someone happens to read it I know offline, I’m not scared of that, and if someone mentions it to me, I’m okay with that.
Related posts:
I’m way too easy to find online. The perils of using the same username (or variations thereof) everywhere I go. It can make for some troubles, like when people who enjoy stirring shit use it as ammunition for attack, but most of the time it’s not too bad.
I don’t mind people in ‘real life’ knowing what I do online, but sometimes I do get a little conscious of what they might think and I self-censor. Especially when it comes to family or work related stuff.